You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
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I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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