im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
