Already got asked if we're dating
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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