dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
