I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i out mim tonsoeep
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