the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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