As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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