OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize