You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
