I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
