You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize