she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize