she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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