I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
