he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
