...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
