Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
