Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
