Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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