so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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