she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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