The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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