You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize