i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize