That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
