Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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