garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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