I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
