All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I will pee on everything he values.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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