dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
