this just has baby written all over it
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
