At least make sure they are 18
Why
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
