but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
