'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
