Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
