If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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