K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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