how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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