talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
