that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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