I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
