I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?