so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
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NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?