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dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
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