we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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