Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.