Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize