We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
