its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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