i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
