TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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