I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize