yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Randomize
