youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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