You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
