Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
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I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
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This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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