I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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