i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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