sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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