Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
