do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
