It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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