Christians are straight up FREAKS
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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