remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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