For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
